The Prince stood at the palace windows, pensively perusing the panorama below. He was, from his own perspective, a progressive potentate. He protected his people from pirates and other predators. He promoted prosperity. He persecuted the peasants only when they were presumptuous, and he had recently postponed a projected purge of the petty bourgeoisie. Yet on this day he was preoccupied with problems.

Lord Abernathy’s piercing gaze blazed across the ballroom, the fire in his azure eyes burning a trail directly to Lady Annabelle’s loins. With a swish—

The shift whistle screamed, breaking Annie’s concentration. She clicked save on her latest story before stowing the laptop in her locker. Tucking blonde curls into her hairnet and stuffing the last of her tuna salad sandwich into her mouth, she hurried out to the bottling floor.

A few things happened that you should probably know about. I tripped over the corner of the rug because it was curling up at the edge. Isn’t there something you can get to stick it down? Maybe A double-sided tape or something. Don’t worry this time because I was fine. As I was falling, I caught hold of the fish tank which saved me from crashing into the coffee table.

#SorryAboutTheLengthOfThisHashtagButJustWantedToCoverMyBasesWithAsManyAudiencesAsHumanlyPossible

Yesterday I ate 3 pieces of cheesecake, 1 cannoli, 1 can of sardines and drank 3 pellagrino blood orange sodas.  That’s it. Oh wait. I smoked a pack of cigarettes. I’ve been waiting around for the important thought, although I don’t have important thoughts. I sit for hours thinking nothing in particular, looking at the dogs sleeping on chairs and sofas and the sun moving across the rug.