I just came in to buy Nyquil. The good kind. The knock-you-on-your-ass kind they lock up because you can cook meth with it. The kind that costs ten bucks a bottle. The taste of social uprising I found in aisle six was free.

I let my mind wander, and it traveled to a distant parking lot with thousands of parked cars, one of which was mine.  But which one? My car was silver, but there were literally hundreds of silver cars.

Every member of this chatroom knows I write extremely graphic (but tasteful) Lord of the Rings erotic fan fiction. What most of you do not know is that, in case my apartment building burns down, I always carry a USB with my life’s work saved on it. And … yesterday … yesterday I lost the USB at a Baskin-Robbins.

Like Thick‑Tailed Spitting Scorpions biding their time under rocks in the Transvaal scrubland, Hidden Health Hazards lurk in every nook and most crannies of our environment. Steadily increasing in range, stealth, and lethality, they have also become ever more accessible, affordable, and fun—leaving scientists at a loss to explain why anyone is still alive.

The Kanto Division of Pokémon Healthcare International regrets to inform you that we are closing the Lavender Town Pokémon Center, effective immediately. Closing your local Pokémon hospital was a tough decision, but given the Center’s low profits, our current financial situation, and the stock market’s recent shift from a Tauros market to a Teddiursa market, we feel it’s the correct one.