Poetry: Please submit no more than 4 poems at a time. We seek sexualized hybrid work of a confessional nature and a philosophical bent that speak of things that matter such as the hypothetical dreams of rapper Riff Raff and the G-chat conversations from freshman year of college we read and reread until our eyes bleed.

You have reached the product help line of the Excellent Egress Corporation. Please select the product for which you require assistance: The Albert Pierrepoint Hangman’s Caboodle, complete with a 13 foot length of 3/4″ diameter Vintage Italian silk hemp rope, bound with Chamois leather to avoid chafing the skin. The Ernest Hemingway Monte Carlo B

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Hey dude. I know you don’t know me very well, but surely you remember meeting me at our college’s a cappella cabaret in 2009? Sandra Ortiz and Brad Henley were sitting between us, but I remember finding your joke about asthma very funny. I’ve always thought of you as smart and confident, despite your cartoonish looks and average talent. You’re someone I’ve always envied for your mysterious ability to “get it” or “get by.”

A Completely Unscientific Comparative Table of Cultural Characteristics of the Tri-State Region

(Excluding New York and Substituting Massachusetts in its Place)

Karate Pottery
A method of unarmed combat in which sharp blows and kicks are administered to ceramics.