I think what I hate most are the looks. Those sideways, pitying, judgmental looks. Those arrogant looks that scream false sympathy. Sometimes, out at dinner, they won’t even do me the courtesy of whispering. They’ll say in full voice, “So sad” or “It’s a shame, really. Pretty girl like that dining out all alone.” Their assumptions are just too much to take. I wish I could show them. I wish I could scream at them, “I am not alone! I am here with my boyfriend!” But then I remember. I remember that this is what I signed up for when I started dating the Invisible Man. So, I just go back to my lobster bisque and try not to look too pathetic.

“She’s a far-gone other species, Ralph.”

Those were the only words of warning on the whole planet at that moment. Everyone else was going Whoop de dooooo! and Wheeee! and there was a lot of clunking together of heads.

“I know, I do know, Dave…” Hesitancy on the face of Ralph, like he’d made up his mind but still thought there had to be a better way. Sure, you can kill yourself anytime, but only once, and you probably won’t be able to step back and say Whew once you’ve leapt off that formidable roof.

And then there was chaos. Although it was a clear day with sunshine, people remember only occasional moderate sunshine. They recall seeing a crowd running past their windows—and joining that crowd and being part of that crowd as it then ran past other people’s windows. But window by-passing was only one of the reasons that this crowd had convened.

The crowd huddled in the Eastern corner of the village square, preferring that direction above all others—especially North. And they watched and they fell silent in order to listen.

It’s my honor to speak in memory of our departed friend Phil Anderson today. When most of you think of Phil’s work for the SyFy Channel over the years, you probably think of his shark movies, like Vampire Sharks and Sharks on a Plane. But take it from me, Phil was so much more than shark movies.

America’s Version of the Great Laugholio, Grabby Dabbles was the first truly great twisting-as-he-goes-there clown, as well as the first half-near-sighted, pigeon-toed clown with a widow’s peak, nut allergies and chronic phlegm star of the circus. Grabby Dabbles was born in the, then seaside, city of Sugarbone in 1809, though some records, viewed upside-down, indicate that he was born in 6081. Grabby’s first appearance as a circus clown was in St. Solution, Bamalama in 1830, at 45¢ a week.