Posts Tagged ‘ Prose ’

“Charles III boasts least impressive hairdo of all King Charleses,” by Ainsley Hawthorn

Jul 12th, 2023 | By

During King Charles’ historic coronation ceremony, all eyes were on the head that wears the crown and, more precisely, on that head’s Pantone Cool Gray #1-coloured tresses. Longtime hair-haver Charles III joins a proud lineage of British King Charleses, all of whom had more majestic hairstyles than the newly crowned sovereign.



“BoostyBuddy – Your guilt free way to a better life™,” by Lanay Griessner

Jul 5th, 2023 | By

Are you tired of feeling depressed? Worn-out by justifying your failures to your dwindling social circle? Sick of wasting thousands of dollars on a certified psychiatrist to bring up topics that you have carefully repressed?

Do you wish there was a better way? Well now there is.



“Da Vinci Did It; You Can, Too,” by Stuart Watson

Jun 28th, 2023 | By

It’s never too late to be a great Renaissance artist. Yes, the original Renaissance was a long time ago, but it’s making a comeback. Renaissance? So retro. R-squared, baby.



An Important Message From the Whimsical Woodland Wonders Family’s Product Safety Team,” by Liz Lydic

Jun 21st, 2023 | By

Dear Whimsical Woodland Wonders Family Products Customer,

We are writing to notify you of a possible safety issue with one of our products. Our records indicate that you have purchased a potentially dangerous Whimsical Woodland Wonders Family item in the past.



“Eat, Pray, Haunt,” by Ron Riekki

Jun 14th, 2023 | By

I get asked to work in haunted houses a lot.

My sister gets asked all the time to do professional modeling.

We’re both tall, but I get seen as Frankenstein’s monster and my sister gets seen as Naomi Campbell.