I’m not exactly sure of the right way to go about this, David Strathairn, so I’m just going to come right out and say it. I would really like to see you, David Strathairn, lose your shit. There. It feels good to finally get it off my chest. I know what you must be thinking: Who the fuck is this guy, a guy who, out of the blue, wants to see me, David Strathairn, lose my shit? Wait—is “fuck” a word that you, David Strathairn, would use? Or even think? Not, I imagine, unless you lost your shit. Which is the whole point. So here we are.

I have to say that for all the love this recipe gets in the blogosphere, I’m just kind of underwhelmed.

As kind of a leading voice in the food blogger comments section community, I set aside an entire Saturday to prepare this dish, eagerly anticipating the results.

At my last gala luncheon, a senator’s wife told me a lot of ordinary Americans are having trouble getting by, and I felt called share my knowledge with my less fortunate countrymen. Budgeting doesn’t have to be hard. With a few minor tweaks, you can save tens, maybe hundreds of thousands of dollars every month.

Thank you for taking part in our sleep study. In addition to helping our researchers better understand sleep disorders, we hope to give you some insight into your own behavior. The researchers have compiled a list of five patterns they noticed that could be affecting the quality of your sleep.

Dear Student,

I regret to inform you I cannot accept your homework. I am aware it is due today, but I don’t think you clearly grasp the purpose of homework. Allow me to explain it more fully to you.

Homework is defined as a set of tasks or assignments that are to be completed outside of class. Pay attention to the phrases outside of class and the word home in homework.