Los Angeles, 1995.  I’m in a Hancock Park mansion for three marathon days working on a low-budget mafia/vampire/zombie flick starring an ex-Playboy Playmate and an actor who’s been dead for more than a year.  My pay: $75 a day.  My position: props/art department.  The fact I’ve never worked with props or art department is never discussed.

“I think it goes without saying: that hair is a different color than that hair.”

“I’ve always loved you, Jessica,” I type in the messaging app of my friend’s iPod Touch.  “I won’t let anyone get in the way of our love.” Although Jessica and I did make out once, I’m not in love with her. I’m writing to her under the clever alias “Jason Smith” because my friend, Ceci, and I are bored.

Often times, people wonder if creativity can be taught, just like any other skill.  I’m sure that this is a question you’ve regularly pondered.  The inconceivable answer is “yes.”

A snake, man, is the easiest pet in the world to take care of. It’s raw. Buy a tank, bedding, a clay pot for water, a heat lamp, and you’re live!