At my last gala luncheon, a senator’s wife told me a lot of ordinary Americans are having trouble getting by, and I felt called share my knowledge with my less fortunate countrymen. Budgeting doesn’t have to be hard. With a few minor tweaks, you can save tens, maybe hundreds of thousands of dollars every month.

Thank you for taking part in our sleep study. In addition to helping our researchers better understand sleep disorders, we hope to give you some insight into your own behavior. The researchers have compiled a list of five patterns they noticed that could be affecting the quality of your sleep.

“Important section” surrounded by little hearts and stars.

Approximate time to discovery: Never.
Chance of termination upon discovery: High

CaffeCuisine Announces Its New Loyalty Program,* starting April 2016, and Here’s How It Works!

Excuse me, but do you mind if I use your bathroom, as long as I’m here? Okay, whoa, I can see you’re a bit put out, but I really, really have to go. And yes, I know that the last time you let me go here, my aim wasn’t all that great. I left a stain or two on your toilet seat, also on the bathroom walls, the floor mat, probably on the mirror over the sink, the medicine cabinet and the light switch. My aim is pretty bad, I admit.