In this limited edition of the The Collected Poetry of Algernon Theodore Ruthven you have acquired an example of the very finest techniques and materials available in the making of books today, a fitting tribute to the poetry of this brilliant reclusive poet. 

Ping Pong Net Re-Stringer: Temp-to-Hire Contract Position—Seeking a self-starter with strong attention to detail and at least 5 years of experience in the ping pong, fishing, and/or shoestring industries to re-string ping pong nets in local tech company breakroom.

It was the biggest pack of hotdogs he’d ever seen. Unbelievable is what he thought at first. Denial of his sensory input. Following disbelief was disgust, followed again by denial. It couldn’t be, like a conundrum wrapped paradoxically in plastic.

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It was in the theater–YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN–I first fell in love.  My cousin and I sat in the very first row at the Coral Theater, way up close, and I watched Terri Garr’s six feet of cleavage in wonder and awe.  I felt I could let go of my seat, free fall into that heavenly, inviting crevasse.  Sticky popcorn butter and Ju-Ju-Bees held my feet down.  Arms wide and leaning like a ski jumper, post-Halloween candies whizzed past, ahead of a wave of laughter.  My cousin, two whole years my senior, caught me just as I was becoming airborne and hit me until my knees buckled, proclaiming my dorkhood in angry hisses.