A West Jefferson, Ohio, cardboard box has filed a class action lawsuit against tens of millions of Americans, citing defamation, libel, slander, reputational damage, separation anxiety, social phobia, externalist angst, agoraphobia, panic disorder, PTSD, ADHD, and FOMO.

INGREDIENTS

An easily bruised heart
Mother issues
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup water

“Hi there! I’m Chip DeForsey for THE QUATRO, the Game Show Network’s fourth channel, and I’m here with Derek Bremer on his epic win tonight. Derek how long have you been playing Mario Kart?”

If you weren’t in Dinkmeyer Hall last night you missed a provocative musical experience. Contemporaneus Extraneus Musicus presented, as usual, a memorable mélange of pieces that have expanded the musical universe. The program was entitled “Beyond Nowness,” and it lived up to that extravagant promise as this reviewer found himself several times wishing for the future to arrive.

I am pleased to announce that we will be marking our seventh year of operation as a Burger Palace franchise with a gala Grand Opening celebration.  The Burger Palace corporate office has given us the long-awaited green light and has set its massive public relations wheels in motion. The big day will be November 12.  I’m sure we will all find this momentous occasion to be well worth the wait.