“Welcome, Cubic Zirconia Member™!” by Daniel Sennis
Oct 4th, 2023 | By Defenestration![](https://www.defenestrationmag.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Defenestration-Fake-Nonfiction.jpg)
We’re so glad you’ve decided to stay at one of our thousands of Slightly Better Than Average™ hotels.
As a Cubic Zirconia Member™, you are entitled to park anywhere you like in the Denny’s lot next door! Just let Tad, the night manager over there know when he arrives for his shift at 8 because sometimes he forgets and calls for a tow!