“I Have No Money for Avocado Toast because I Can’t Stop Buying Houses,” by Daniel Galef
Dec 13th, 2017 | By Defenestration![](https://www.defenestrationmag.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Defenestration-Fake-Nonfiction.jpg)
There is a hum and my phone skitters an inch or so across the table, bumping into a pastel yellow beachhouse perched on wooden stilts above a vista of scenic rolling dunes.
It’s Marc, asking if I’m down for brunch tomorrow with his cousin who’s in town for a music festival.
With a sigh, I text back to say I can’t afford to keep going to brunch in the middle of the week, by means of the waffle, dollar sign, and sad face emojis