Good morning or possibly afternoon (or night)! Welcome to the April 2017 issue of Defenestration! And if I’m here welcoming you to a new issue, that also means I’m sitting at my computer the night before this issue goes live, wondering what the heck I should be writing about for my editorial. I mean, I could tell you about all the stuff you get to read this month, which may or may not include clown removal, jabberwockies, interesting clothes, dead bodies, ballet, and a bear named Doug.

So today’s comic is all about ninjas, but I don’t know whether Winslow, Kurt, and Reya have gone back in time to feudal Japan or if they’re sneaking around a modern Japanese castle or what. Does it matter? No.

Pssst… if you want a good deal on arms, I can get you in touch with Winslow. He’s got all sorts of arms for sale. Small arms. Large arms. Wobbly arms? Yes, even wobbly arms.

This comic has all the things you were hoping to see today. Ben. Winslow. Tight-fitting costumes. Goblins. Babies. References to movies from the 80s. For you, my fans, I deliver.

Winslow puts up this sign at every party he’s ever thrown. It gives him a way to claim whatever gets left behind without resorting to the ridiculous lost-and-found box Ben keeps in the hall closet next to the large Tupperware bin full of craft supplies. Winslow has amassed quite a collection of abandoned items: watches, jewelry, cell phones, underpants.