Winslow has been known to control pests with unorthodox methods, but this is the first time the pests themselves have been unorthodox.

Today’s comic is based on an ongoing joke my wife and I have between us. Back when we were dating a million years ago, we saw several documentaries on the Apocalypse (as if a program about the Apocalypse could really be classified as a documentary). Several of the prophets of doom prepared maps of what the world would look like afterward, and one of the amusing constants was that Montana was always miraculously spared. The seas rose, the mountains crumbled, but Montana was always safe in the middle of it all, fiddling while the world burned.

Contrary to popular belief, and also cartoons, ants do not ruin picnics. Mosquitoes do. Ants try to eat your food, but mosquitoes try to eat YOU, which is a whole lot worse. Where I live, the summers are pretty humid, and mosquitoes rule the night, and also the evening, and also the better part of the afternoon. Its hard to enjoy the outdoors when your children are being drained of what little blood they have.

I’ve been playing a lot of Animal Crossing: New Leaf recently. Correction: I’ve been playing a lot of Animal Crossing: New Leaf lately. And I don’t think I’m the only one, either. Part of me was worried that not enough people would understand today’s comic, but then I realized Animal Crossing is what all the cool kids are playing.

As I type this, the neighbors are still firing off fireworks. In the morning, the ground will be littered with the charred corpses of what remains of their late-night fireworks displays. It’s the same every year. No one’s tried to become a human firework yet, but I expect it’s only a matter of time. Winslow’s still trying to perfect it.