This is a movie that doesn’t exist but probably should. It would make a suitable follow-up to my first movie, Cartoon Zombie Freakout (which also doesn’t exist).

After living and working among dorks (geeks, nerds, whatever) for many years, I began to suspect that there were two main kinds: those that could function outside of dorkdom, and those that could not. I vainly thought that my friends and I were all the former. You know, dorks with jobs and girlfriends and interests outside of whatever the hell made us dorky in the first place.

While Winslow’s personality makes it next to impossible for him to engage in romantic relationships, Kurt the Cynic has a more depressing problem. He has no trouble starting relationships, but he has an abysmal track record with maintaining them. It’s not his fault. He just attracts the wrong kinds of women.

The only DC comic I was ever interested in as a kid was Batman, but Green Lantern has a certain appeal. I mean, how many of us would love to be the bearer of a magic green space ring that does awesome things to bad people? Don’t be shy. Raise your hands.

The idea that Winslow has a secret “axe hole” is not a secret. This is just the first time we’ve actually seen what it looks like. It’s pretty much filled with axes, like you’d expect.