therealflannyo25 The baby looked thataway at birth, weren’t nothin’ nobody coulda ferseen or helped. All the same, he had a sweet smell to him on account of the Johnson’s ™ talcum powder. #evenuglybabiesneedlove therealflannyo25 The Curel™ lanolin might’ve helped, if the gangrene hadn’t settled itself in like a cat on a window seat. #warinjuries therealflannyo25

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Today’s comic presents some very useful tips that I urge all of you to try. This isn’t just a social distancing thing, either. These tips will work just as well for introverts and other folks uninterested in interacting with their fellow human beings!

If you purchased a “Sketch-a-Flesh” brand bioprinter (ViviGen, Inc.) between 2043 and 2045, you may be entitled to financial compensation!

I am a prude. Or, at the very least, I am prude adjacent with a healthy aversion to public nudity—especially my own. I became aware that this squeamishness wasn’t universally shared during my first trip abroad. Fresh out of our teen years, my newly minted husband and I crossed the Atlantic to spend our honeymoon on the Grecian island of Corfu. As our airport taxi wound through the narrow streets of the city, it was hard not to notice the abundance of billboards splashed with topless women. They were a none too subtle reminder of the theme of the coming night. I couldn’t help but feel the pressure of making it the most romantic and memorable experience of our virginal lives.

Hello again, friends and readers and people who stumbled here accidentally, to the August 2020 issue of Defenestration! We were all expecting our lives to be back to normal by now, but here we are, thoroughly abnormal. Normal isn’t a thing anymore. Normal is a historical blip, a tone box in a textbook from 2031,

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