Hair is a rarity among males of whatever the heck species Ben and Winslow are supposed to be. You’ve no doubt noticed that all the men in these comics are totally bald, while the women enjoy hair of many colors and styles. It’s something that hasn’t sat well with Ben since the very earliest stages of this comic. I can’t say I blame the guy. Hair can be pretty awesome. Also, sometimes hair can be a monkey.

During this time, all books were Harry Potter. There wasn’t a government edict or anything. It just happened over time. No one missed the dusting, although most people still owned real copies of the seven books. There’s just something about a real book.

It’s easy to hate people with their stupid faces and their stupid mouths saying stupid things, but it’s very hard to hate robots. They do so much for us without complaining. They make our cars and clean our floors and babysit our children with hardly any errors at all.

I miss you, baby.

I miss the way you used to read me the morning obituaries in your best sexy voice. That always reminded me to be thankful I’m alive. I miss the way you used to coerce me to sit on the scale at the grocery store self-checkout to hear the machine voice tell me how much I’d cost if I were an artichoke. That always reminded me that my life had value.

Winslow bought a bouquet from Online Flowers Good Times Any Day Plus a year ago (it was a special $99 “super bouquet” that was meant as an apology for all the years he forgot to send flowers on Mother’s Day, which was literally all the years). Now the store won’t leave him alone, and he can’t seem to find an “unsubscribe” button on all these stupid emails he keeps getting. Will the madness ever stop?!