Comment section for You Tube video Qvst3rtY67: German Heavy Metal Band Schicklgruber’s Mustache–New song “Where is My Lighter, I Have No Cigarette”

Dumbguy60: I love German power metal.

JayJay: Power metal? Were your ears torn off by a weasel? This is obviously symphonic metal.

CrowbarsAreFun: I thought it was doom metal.

Bob: This is awful

Looks like that fairy Winslow was keeping in a bottle didn’t drown in raspberry jam after all.

EXT. SENATE STEPS—DAY SENATOR WILSON: (Gazes at American flag waving overhead, takes deep breath.) My first day as a freshman senator. Well, here goes nothing! Cut to INT. SENATE FLOOR—DAY (SENATOR WILSON takes seat, smiling nervously. SENATOR SMITH sits next to her, extends hand.) SENATOR SMITH: Wayne Smith, Texas. You new here? SENATOR WILSON: Yeah,

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The Legend of Zelda games are always weird because the people you talk to always expect you to have an empty bottle with you. The grocery store doesn’t expect me to have my own bottle when I want to buy water or milk or soda, but they haven’t figured out how to mass produce bottles in Hyrule. There’s usually only like three of the stupid things in the whole country. Winslow clearly would find ways around these obvious storage deficiencies.

My wife Carol said something really sweet and profound to me the other day. I wish I’d muted the TV long enough to catch it all.

Carol starts every day by saying, “I love you.” I respond by asking her who she’s on the phone with.