O, corkscrew—
You’re supposed to be easier,
easier than the one with
bird wings that press down,
and pull the cork up,

In bed does he shout, “Action!”?
At some point does he say, “Cut,
let’s try that again.”?
I don’t know about you
but I couldn’t handle
242 takes.

Sometimes you just want to draw characters with stormclouds for hair. And sometimes, when you do, you make a medical breakthrough. You’re welcome.

Learning German is hard. For an English speaker, it’s nearly impossible to figure out why pizza is feminine unless it is an object. “Die Pizza—feminine subject—schemeckt fine,” but, “Kann ich ein Stuck von der Pizza—masculine object—haben?” I would like to think this happens because Germans are progressive, but I know that’s not true. Part of me knows it would be easier to remember if it were the other way around—masculine things become feminine when they are objects—but I hate that part of myself.

I’m still trying to figure this one out.