She’s going to be really mad when she realizes all that extra tape was unnecessary.

Open mics are to self-help what Columbine was to school spirit: A step in the wrong direction.

Big laugh. Meta as hell. Enough time has passed to where it works. Crowd loves it. They carry me out of there like Rudy.

For your Sunday enjoyment: a comic!

I don’t know why these aren’t popular anymore.

You’re a single woman over the age of 25 with an unnatural desire for independence. Words such as shriveled, aging uterus, and embryo cryopreservation are appearing more frequently in your family’s daily conversation. You often feel guilty for not having produced a grandchild to brighten up your parent’s monotonous post-retirement life. You’ve powered through a series of bad dates to find your ideal partner only to be abruptly abandoned two years later with a casual “I don’t know what’s wrong but something doesn’t feel right” as a reason.