Hi, it’s mom. Where are you? Because I’ve got a leak here. It’s pouring down from upstairs into the front hall. Thank God I found two pots under the sink. Why did you hide them there?  They’ve never been there before. Every week you sneak in here and hide my things. I found my toothbrush on top of the piano and my teabags in the bathroom cupboard. I suppose you find that funny.

Ingredients

– A Boa constrictor digesting an Elephant.

– Baobabs.

– Other assorted characters (see below).

The first thing that goes is your sense of time. Your internal clock. Your circadian rhythm. In the long term, disruption of the circadian rhythm can lead to serious health issues such as chronic fatigue, diabetes, obesity, and clinical depression. This is not our concern- I am at peak physical and mental fitness and my blood sugar is stable. I do almost wish I felt fatigued, chronically, even, as I am a nervous wreck, though I suppose those two things are not mutually exclusive.

I let my midnight dreams explore
what I had never dared before–

some fowl what I did see before
reclining quaint as once of yore.

This is a poem about my nipples.
I call it “Titillation” because that’s a pun
and people pretending to be poets
use puns as the illiterati use memes:
to prove how clever we are.
So prepare to be impressed.