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M A S H

Profession

• Garbage Inspector
• Gynecologist
• Sweatshop Manager
• Performance Artist (homeless)
• Sultan of Dubai's Girlfriend

Hobby

• Hooking
• Taxidermy
• Playing Bradley Headstone at Dickens World
• Coupon Clipping Enthusiast
• Staring at Andrew

Who You Will Marry

• Bruce Willis circa 1989
• Andrew
• Ryan Reynolds
• Chad the Ex-Boyfriend
• Larry King

Children

• A Swarm
• Macaulay Culkin
• A Toothbrush
• Myriad of fluffy puppies

How You Will Die

• Twinkie Accident
• Run over by clown car
• ATM Explosion (hundreds everywhere!)
• Papercut to the femoris artery

End Result

Andrew will live in an apartment and will work as a Performance Artist (homeless). His hobby will be staring at Andrew, and he will be married to Andrew. He will have A Swarm for children and will die in an ATM Explosion (hundreds everywhere!).